I saw so many things wrong that I needed God to change, but every time I put my hands on the wheel He took His off. He couldn't change me while I was trying to change myself and I've learned that God does a much better job at dealing with my sin, faults and mistakes than I do. There was no amount of energy or strength that I could put into changing myself... trust me I tried.
Zechariah 4:6
"It's not by might nor by force, but by His spirit"
I was legalistic and self-pious...looking spiritually strong on the outside while spiritually dying on the inside. The truth is I wasn't living I was just existing. After God saved me, I became a brick...cardboard isn't even thick enough to describe my personality. I was automatically afraid of everything and stopped doing the things I had once loved to do.
Colossians 2:20-23
You have died with Christ, and he has set you free from the spiritual powers of this world. So why do you keep on following the rules of the world, such as, “Don’t handle! Don’t taste! Don’t touch!”? Such rules are mere human teachings about things that deteriorate as we use them. These rules may seem wise because they require strong devotion, pious self-denial, and severe bodily discipline. But they provide no help in conquering a person’s evil desires.
Pinky Promise airport photoshoot, lol
There were so many rules, regulations and rituals I had tried to follow to earn the love and acceptance of God instead of standing on His truth...the truth that although I fall short of His glory and perfect standard every single day, He still declares I am righteous...not because of me and my perfect behavior or church attendance, but because of the blood of Jesus. (Romans 3:23) He has washed my sin and made it as white as snow...He settled the matter of my sin at the cross knowing very well (because He is God) that I would still sin, make mistakes and fall short of His glory. In no way am I condoning sin and saying it's okay, because it's not...but we serve a PERFECT God who remains PERFECT in the midst of our imperfection. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. He cares about the situations we get ourselves into and we need to grow to a place where we learn from our mistakes and allow God to work it out for our good (Romans 8:28)
Isaiah 1:18
"Come now, let us settle the matter," says the LORD. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.
God has been faithful, He has delivered me from that mindset and way of living and continues to prune me as He finishes what HE started. He is truly a God who restores. He is currently restoring me to who He created me to be...He's restoring my personality...He's restoring the silly, down to earth girl with a child-like heart I once was.
I love to cook, bake, clean, organize, eat ice-cream, laugh (a lot), run and workout, be with my friends, do my makeup and go SHOPPING! And so much more...there are so many things I'm learning about myself. Pink used to be my favorite color...anyone who knew me knows that EVERYTHING I owned was pink...I forced myself to love a color I truly didn't care for...because I was a cheerleader and a female...I mean pink should be my favorite color, right?. I didn't love myself or who God created me to be because I didn't know any better, so I tried to be like everyone else. I had all these different pieces of others who I tried to be like when the real me was buried beneath the surface. Beth was crushed and no where in sight. You could see me, but you didn't really know me. I didn't really know me - I knew a false illusion of who I thought I was.
Jetskiing this past weekend for the 4th!
I learned that no amount of religion can save anyone. No amount of trying to change myself could help God do what He wanted to do. It wasn't until I let go of trying to change me that God could actually change me. I still have my moments, but it's not long before God reigns me back into Him and His word and helps me to simply remember to let go so he can change me and finish what HE started.
As humans, we make letting go so hard when it's really so simple. It seems the harder we try to let go the harder we hold on and the tighter our grip gets. Letting go is simply that, just letting go. It goes from our hands into the hands of God and from there, He handles it. There's times things need to be broken or stripped from us, but God can do more in a short period of time when we let go than in our years of holding on to things He wants us to let go of. Letting go doesn't always mean to get rid of something. Sometimes we need to let go and step back so God can step in. We get in the way of our own healing and blessings because we are busy trying to do Gods job.
We need to do our part and cooperate with the work of God in our lives, but we also need to take several seats and simply let God be God.
Just Be YOU!
Love,
Beth
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