The Process

Almost everything we go through in life is a process, and it's sticking with the process that can be one of the most difficult and challenging things we face. At some point throughout the process, it's easy to feel like you want to give up...that it's just not worth the fight anymore...your process will require your patience.

A sneak peak into my journal!

One of my favorite things to do is journal...i started journaling about 4 years ago and over that time span have built up quite the collection. My journal knows some of my deepest, most intimate thoughts, prayers and reflections...however, there are still some I hold quietly in my heart. It holds years worth of my process in becoming the person I am today, and will continue to hold the process of who I am to become. You see, our entire life is a process...almost everything in this world requires some form of process; giving birth, baking a cake, buying a house, going to school...etc.

One thing that comes to mind when I think of process is metamorphosis; the process of transformation. Every beautiful butterfly once started as a creepy crawly critter. What if in the middle of that process, wrapped up in it's warm cocoon the soon to be butterfly decided it was done and aborted the process? It wouldn't become the beautiful butterfly that radiates beauty. A process isn't started and finished overnight...it takes time. In the same way, a woman who is pregnant doesn't give birth after the night she conceives...it's a 9 month long process of growth and development before that baby will make its entrance safely into this world. And while we don't want to abort the process, we don't want to give birth before it's time either.

This morning during my prayer time and as I began to read through my old journal from over two years ago, I began to reflect on my own process. Lately, I have been so caught up on where I want to be that I have lost sight of how far I have come. My entire life has been built on this paradigm of perfection, a self approval coping mechanism that gave me some form of permission to find a little bit of worth, value and self-love. When I would do things right, everything was good...but when I got it wrong my entire world fell apart.

So, a little over four years ago I decided to enter into a relationship with Jesus....I gave my heart to Him....and He began to walk me through a process of healing...a process of deliverance, a process of freedom, a process of teaching me who I was in Him...and while it's been a beautiful process, it has also been a painful one. There are times where I have had to choose to trust God instead of people because HE knows the plans HE has for ME (Jer 29:11)....not my mama, not my uncle, not my best friends, not my sister...not even myself.  There are times where I have had to (and still have to) confront the issues of my past that I have brushed under the rug and left in the dark...I've had to allow the Lord to bring them to light so I can heal....a wound can't be healed if it's not treated. And of course, on the flip side...there's a peace and a joy that comes a soul satisfied in Him...a soul assured of its final destination when its time on this earth is up.

My journal collection!

So, if you want to abort your process....don't. If you want to give up your faith...don't. We will never arrive to a place of perfection while we are here on this earth...so let's keep going!

Love,

Beth

** Any questions, comments or prayer requests can be sent to notyouraveragechurchgirl@gmail.com **

Good, Good Father

"...For many listeners (or readers) as soon as you use the word, father, walls go up. Because of abusive fathers, negligent fathers or absentee fathers, our image of God as a father has become distorted and even painful." 
- Joyce Meyer

My Daddy and I


Daddy Issues....many of us have them. Maybe you were raised in a house-hold without a father or felt abandoned or rejected by your own. Often times, the experience we have here on earth with our earthly father affects the view we have of God as our Heavenly Father. It's so easy to allow our relationship with our fathers here on earth shape the view we have of the Lord. If you grew up with a Dad who was constantly nitpicking you for every little thing, you may find yourself feeling like God is doing the same. If you didn't feel loved or cared for by your Dad, you most likely have built up some walls to keep others out, and for many of us that includes keeping the Lord out also. I'll be the first to admit that I have plenty of walls up...even with those who are closest to me. I'm in a season where I am learning to receive love from others because it doesn't come natural with all the walls built up around my heart. 

Psalm 103:13

"The Lord is like a father to his
children, tender and compassionate 
to those who fear him"

One of the things I constantly have to do is remind myself about who God is and the Father He promises to be TO me. He promises to love me with an unfailing love....He promises to work all things out for my good...He promises to be tender and compassionate....He promises that His thoughts towards me are precious....that He loves me and isn't looking down on me...He promises to not constantly accuse me and nitpick at every little thing I do....He promises to correct me and discipline me....He promises to keep me safe, that the number of my days He will fulfill...AND, one of my favorites....He promises to fill my life with GOOD things! 

My little BFF Choo-Choo

Matthew 7:11

"If you then, who are evil, know how to give good 
gifts to your children, how much more will your
 Father who is in heaven give good things 
to those who ask him!"

Gosh, the Lord is SO faithful. He truly is a GOOD, GOOD Father. He literally does exceedingly and abundantly more than we could ever ask for hope for or imagine. Correction and discipline don't always feel good...and often times we look at God as the bad guy because He gives us certain rules/boundaries we should live by...but they are for our own good. No good parent is going to allow their child to play with fire! I currently work as an infant and toddler teacher...my classroom is a mixed age group (3mos-2.5 years). Right now we have 2 infants who are learning to crawl and move around the classroom, and they often get very upset when we put them back in baby space where they are protected by barriers and can play safely. You see, its not that we don't want them to play...but we need them to play in a space where they are safe from the older children who are running all over the classroom so that they don't get hurt. In the same way, the Lord gives us some boundaries that help keep us and others safe...physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. He cares about every aspect of our being and every detail of our life.

The reason why I'm as weird as I am, lol

Know that the Lord has not forgotten about you, regardless of whatever season you may be in during this phase of your life. Maybe you're reading this and are on the fence about this whole "God thing"....it seems so....surreal and you're not sure you have what it takes to journey on this faith walk....I promise you this: God never fails. Ever. He will give you strength. It's so, so worth it!

Xoxo,
Beth