The Process

Almost everything we go through in life is a process, and it's sticking with the process that can be one of the most difficult and challenging things we face. At some point throughout the process, it's easy to feel like you want to give up...that it's just not worth the fight anymore...your process will require your patience.

A sneak peak into my journal!

One of my favorite things to do is journal...i started journaling about 4 years ago and over that time span have built up quite the collection. My journal knows some of my deepest, most intimate thoughts, prayers and reflections...however, there are still some I hold quietly in my heart. It holds years worth of my process in becoming the person I am today, and will continue to hold the process of who I am to become. You see, our entire life is a process...almost everything in this world requires some form of process; giving birth, baking a cake, buying a house, going to school...etc.

One thing that comes to mind when I think of process is metamorphosis; the process of transformation. Every beautiful butterfly once started as a creepy crawly critter. What if in the middle of that process, wrapped up in it's warm cocoon the soon to be butterfly decided it was done and aborted the process? It wouldn't become the beautiful butterfly that radiates beauty. A process isn't started and finished overnight...it takes time. In the same way, a woman who is pregnant doesn't give birth after the night she conceives...it's a 9 month long process of growth and development before that baby will make its entrance safely into this world. And while we don't want to abort the process, we don't want to give birth before it's time either.

This morning during my prayer time and as I began to read through my old journal from over two years ago, I began to reflect on my own process. Lately, I have been so caught up on where I want to be that I have lost sight of how far I have come. My entire life has been built on this paradigm of perfection, a self approval coping mechanism that gave me some form of permission to find a little bit of worth, value and self-love. When I would do things right, everything was good...but when I got it wrong my entire world fell apart.

So, a little over four years ago I decided to enter into a relationship with Jesus....I gave my heart to Him....and He began to walk me through a process of healing...a process of deliverance, a process of freedom, a process of teaching me who I was in Him...and while it's been a beautiful process, it has also been a painful one. There are times where I have had to choose to trust God instead of people because HE knows the plans HE has for ME (Jer 29:11)....not my mama, not my uncle, not my best friends, not my sister...not even myself.  There are times where I have had to (and still have to) confront the issues of my past that I have brushed under the rug and left in the dark...I've had to allow the Lord to bring them to light so I can heal....a wound can't be healed if it's not treated. And of course, on the flip side...there's a peace and a joy that comes a soul satisfied in Him...a soul assured of its final destination when its time on this earth is up.

My journal collection!

So, if you want to abort your process....don't. If you want to give up your faith...don't. We will never arrive to a place of perfection while we are here on this earth...so let's keep going!

Love,

Beth

** Any questions, comments or prayer requests can be sent to notyouraveragechurchgirl@gmail.com **